True American

Dear Superbowl Setup Guy or Gal,

I'm assuming that putting on the Superbowl is a pretty tough job. One can't exactly blame you for "dropping the ball" from time to time. As I am a true American and only want the best for my country's entertainment, I would like to offer my services for the future. I have been fluent in the Star Spangled Banner for close to 25 years now and, as my coworkers, friends and family can tell you, always have my singing voice warmed up. And while I may have a pesky "last name", I would like to think that my "prerecorded" voice during your halftime show wouldn't sound like I had smoked 35 packs of cigarettes before my performance. I would also promise not to "slip" any hidden messages into my lyrics. Again, I'm only trying to help in the spirit of American entertainment. If you need me, you just let me know!

Thanks,
Aimee ;)